Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
