Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize