If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
