I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
