i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
