Why are handjobs necessary in class?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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