I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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