I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I have so many feelings about this burrito
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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