dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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