I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It was confusing and full of hummus
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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