He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
