do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
