dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
