one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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