Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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