can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
