Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize