this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I need moral support for this bender
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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