i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
