why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
