Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
