What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
