Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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