the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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