I wish i was in the wii world.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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