do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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