I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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