Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
