I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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