fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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