Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
