If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize