I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
