I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
