How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I looked at my own cervix.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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