Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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