so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Randomize
