just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
