We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
