ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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