i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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