census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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