So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
