Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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