so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
