im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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