I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
