He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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