I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
