the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
