Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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