She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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