hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
