would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
