I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize