This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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