I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
