He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
His hands were made for my vagina.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
