Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize