he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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